A Christmas Wish For Your Families

My sister is a woman who is now turning thirty. She has had few friends and her boyfriends have never done her any good. She now she finally has found a man who adores her.

 

They had an affair nine years ago when he was twice his age and still married. My sister ended the affair and he separated from his wife. When my sister contacted him this spring, she finalized the divorce and they became a couple. Her marriage, which was arranged by her church, was never happy.

 

Her parents and her children are upset that she got divorced. Her children do not want to meet her new girlfriend and he has not dared to tell her parents about her. The other problem is the children. She wants; She does not do it. I tell my sister that they both know each other's position on this and neither has the right to impose on the other, but neither of them wants to leave.

 

My whole family visited them on my sister's last birthday. It felt so good to see them together and to see my sister finally receive love and warmth. But knowing that at some point they will have a hard landing feels horrible. She has a man who loves her, but she is entangled in a constricting church and family. Also, there is a conflict of dreams between them.

 

What should I tell my sister? We try to achieve an equal relationship, but we find ourselves in such different circumstances. I am married and have two children, a professional with friends and all the things she wants. I can't tell you, after seeing their cozy home and how they care for each other, that this is another forbidden place.

 

Who am I to know? Maybe he will recover, or maybe she thinks he is more important than fulfilling her dream of having children. Maybe I should keep my "higher knowledge" to myself.

 

Noel, "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens is one of our favorite stories, but this story is so familiar that most of us forget the moral. Even in our old age, it is not too late to change. Even in our old age, it is not too late to live the life that is our birthright. But we must want to change and then move on.

 

In Dickens's tale, Ebenezer Scrooge is visited by the ghost of his former business partner Jacob Marley. Marley warns Scrooge where the patterns of his life take him, and although Marley wants Scrooge to change, he cannot make him change. Scrooge must go through a voyage of discovery before he is ready.

 

You would like to play Jacob Marley for your sister, but even Marley couldn't change Scrooge. Three spirits had to show Scrooge his past, his present, and, if he didn't change, his bleak future. Until Scrooge made this trip, he was not prepared.

 

That is the wisdom of history. We must examine the past for lessons, look to the present for its patterns, and project where those patterns will take us in the future. If those patterns lead to sadness, they must be modified to bring us to fulfillment. As Scrooge says, "The courses of men will presage certain ends, to which, if they persevere, they must lead. But if they depart from the courses, the ends will change."

 

Whether our life is sad, an abused life, or just a flat life, we can use this simple story as a guide to breaking the patterns that lead to bad endings. You can have the life you want for your sister, but you don't have the power to give it to her. She won't change until she's ready Keep your higher knowledge to yourself. If you want to do something, give your sister a copy of "A Christmas Carol" and silently ask her to be happy.

Source: Mesaje de Craciun pentru prieteni. Urari de Craciun. Felicitari de Craciun. Texte de Craciun

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